Comments on: 8 Tips on How to Ease Children’s and Parents’ Preschool Separation Anxiety http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2009/08/8-tips-to-ease-preschool-anxiety/ Opinionated, green, frugal, attachment parenting, breastfeeding New York mom making sense of motherhood and social media! Fri, 30 Jul 2010 01:13:31 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Dagmar http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2009/08/8-tips-to-ease-preschool-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-1564 Dagmar Sat, 15 May 2010 05:22:29 +0000 http://dagmarbleasdale.com/?p=2839#comment-1564 Angie, I know my son best and know what works for him. I stayed with him for a little while for a few days, shorter every day, and he was just fine after a weeks or so. Of course I made sure that he never saw me peek through the door after I left, I also believe that that would have made it harder on him. L did just fine after the first week and we never had a problem after the initial few tough days, which have to be expected. I don't believe in just throwing L into situations, I believe in being there for him and my emphasis was to prepare him as much beforehand with talking about the school and showing it to him so that he would get used to the idea. If I would follow your advice, I should probably also be okay with dentists who don't allow parents in the exam room. I would never leave my child alone with a dentist. It is very hard on me to talk him through the procedures, but I can't imagine not being there for him when he is scared and so vulnerable. He is growing up to be a very independent, fearless little guy BECAUSE he feels secure in me being there when he needs me. He's going to need and want me less and less when he gets older, but right now he's only 3 1/2. I can work on "toughening" him up when he's older. Angie, I know my son best and know what works for him. I stayed with him for a little while for a few days, shorter every day, and he was just fine after a weeks or so. Of course I made sure that he never saw me peek through the door after I left, I also believe that that would have made it harder on him. L did just fine after the first week and we never had a problem after the initial few tough days, which have to be expected.

I don’t believe in just throwing L into situations, I believe in being there for him and my emphasis was to prepare him as much beforehand with talking about the school and showing it to him so that he would get used to the idea. If I would follow your advice, I should probably also be okay with dentists who don’t allow parents in the exam room. I would never leave my child alone with a dentist. It is very hard on me to talk him through the procedures, but I can’t imagine not being there for him when he is scared and so vulnerable. He is growing up to be a very independent, fearless little guy BECAUSE he feels secure in me being there when he needs me. He’s going to need and want me less and less when he gets older, but right now he’s only 3 1/2. I can work on “toughening” him up when he’s older.

]]> By: Angie http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2009/08/8-tips-to-ease-preschool-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-1563 Angie Sat, 15 May 2010 04:05:37 +0000 http://dagmarbleasdale.com/?p=2839#comment-1563 I would just like to say that I feel as though you are giving come very misguided information to parents regarding separation anxiety. I am a preschool teacher and majored in Child Development. The reason why the teacher informed you and Landon that you would be leaving is because your sitting with him for thirty minutes to help "sooth" his transitional anxiety only fosters and reinforces the negative behavior. You are telling your child that if they are scared at school that you will be there. As a parent I can completely understand wanting your child to know that they can count on you to keep to them safe, however, in this particular scenario it is not what is best for the child. It is absolutely necessary during preschool and the early education years for the child to develop autonomy and learn how to self sooth. This is the venue in which a child will be learning that school is safe and fun place and when a parent stays for a while or lingers during a goodbye or even tries to pacify possible crying then that sends the message to the child that this environment is only safe when mom is there too. Miss Laura should have discussed this with you prior to the second day though. I believe in creating a routine in which you discuss with your child prior to the first day about a regular time you will drop off on a daily basis, what your good bye routine will be (maybe a butterfly kiss or a high five), and then leave. That sends the message that you trust that they will be fine and that this is a positive environment. Also, if a child sees their parent peeking through a window or door after they have already calmed them self and have been redirected and engaged in an activity the anxiety could begin all over again. So prepare your child for the transition and talk about it often in a positive light and follow the guides mentioned above and parents will have success within the quickest time frame available for the individual child. It is true that parents know their children best, but teachers have dealt with transitioning difficulty and separation anxiety far many more times than a parent who has never facilitated a classroom. I would just like to say that I feel as though you are giving come very misguided information to parents regarding separation anxiety. I am a preschool teacher and majored in Child Development. The reason why the teacher informed you and Landon that you would be leaving is because your sitting with him for thirty minutes to help “sooth” his transitional anxiety only fosters and reinforces the negative behavior. You are telling your child that if they are scared at school that you will be there. As a parent I can completely understand wanting your child to know that they can count on you to keep to them safe, however, in this particular scenario it is not what is best for the child. It is absolutely necessary during preschool and the early education years for the child to develop autonomy and learn how to self sooth. This is the venue in which a child will be learning that school is safe and fun place and when a parent stays for a while or lingers during a goodbye or even tries to pacify possible crying then that sends the message to the child that this environment is only safe when mom is there too. Miss Laura should have discussed this with you prior to the second day though. I believe in creating a routine in which you discuss with your child prior to the first day about a regular time you will drop off on a daily basis, what your good bye routine will be (maybe a butterfly kiss or a high five), and then leave. That sends the message that you trust that they will be fine and that this is a positive environment. Also, if a child sees their parent peeking through a window or door after they have already calmed them self and have been redirected and engaged in an activity the anxiety could begin all over again. So prepare your child for the transition and talk about it often in a positive light and follow the guides mentioned above and parents will have success within the quickest time frame available for the individual child. It is true that parents know their children best, but teachers have dealt with transitioning difficulty and separation anxiety far many more times than a parent who has never facilitated a classroom.

]]> By: Lauren @ Hobo Mama http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2009/08/8-tips-to-ease-preschool-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-945 Lauren @ Hobo Mama Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:02:07 +0000 http://dagmarbleasdale.com/?p=2839#comment-945 I'll just second the idea of the delayed reactions. Mikko's first day went really well, but then he went through a spate of being upset at my leaving. Then he was fine again, and later he went through another phase of being upset. It can be helpful not to let that surprise you. And I also get sad when I see other kids and new parents being sad! It's so hard in those first days when you were used to being there for them all the time. But now Mikko loves his school and talks about his teachers all the time at home. I think he missed them over Thanksgiving break! I would say also to look for a school with a small teacher:student ratio and low staff turnover and encourage the teachers to bond with your child and vice versa. I’ll just second the idea of the delayed reactions. Mikko’s first day went really well, but then he went through a spate of being upset at my leaving. Then he was fine again, and later he went through another phase of being upset. It can be helpful not to let that surprise you. And I also get sad when I see other kids and new parents being sad! It’s so hard in those first days when you were used to being there for them all the time.

But now Mikko loves his school and talks about his teachers all the time at home. I think he missed them over Thanksgiving break! I would say also to look for a school with a small teacher:student ratio and low staff turnover and encourage the teachers to bond with your child and vice versa.

]]> By: Katie - PeanutSprout http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2009/08/8-tips-to-ease-preschool-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-646 Katie - PeanutSprout Mon, 17 Aug 2009 05:25:48 +0000 http://dagmarbleasdale.com/?p=2839#comment-646 One thing that I think (hope) is going to help my son prepare for preschool is going to a summer day camp for preschoolers. Two days last week he went to a YMCA camp for 3 and 4 year olds. It was only from 9 to 12. I dropped him off and picked him up. He had to stay and play with the group, have a snack, etc. One thing that I think (hope) is going to help my son prepare for preschool is going to a summer day camp for preschoolers. Two days last week he went to a YMCA camp for 3 and 4 year olds. It was only from 9 to 12. I dropped him off and picked him up. He had to stay and play with the group, have a snack, etc.

]]> By: Firefly http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2009/08/8-tips-to-ease-preschool-anxiety/comment-page-1/#comment-637 Firefly Sun, 16 Aug 2009 06:54:23 +0000 http://dagmarbleasdale.com/?p=2839#comment-637 I'm not sure is it me or my little girl, but we just were not ready for preschool this year. It could be the separation anxiety on both sides. Although I think she is ready more than me. I know many things will change by the next year, and we will be ready. Great tips, very helpful, love the picture! I’m not sure is it me or my little girl, but we just were not ready for preschool this year. It could be the separation anxiety on both sides. Although I think she is ready more than me. I know many things will change by the next year, and we will be ready.
Great tips, very helpful, love the picture!

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